My sister, Laura, is a musician and has developed a series of curated evenings with other musician friends called Modern Ritual performed in London at Cafe Oto, Union Chapel and The Barbican. For all creatives there is an element of ritual or habit that we create to give structure to an otherwise unstructured way of being. Over the past couple of years, whilst caring for my 9 year old son during his treatment for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia, my painting practice has got me through some hard times but I have also lost elements of the ritual and habit that help to create the right environment for me as a painter.
The painting at the start of this blog has special significance for me, I created the drawings in an ancient woodland on a particularly hard day. I parked the car at Haddiscoe Church and walked into the woods crying uncontrollably. I have found during Hen’s illness that 90% of the time it is absolutely necessary to hold it together, not let the emotion out as it could take over everything and wouldn’t help the situation. I didn’t feel much like drawing but made myself walk into the woods. The combination of moving my body and being in such an ancient place worked it’s magic and soon I could breathe properly, I felt properly rooted to the place and sat to draw for a couple of hours. Time slowed, my senses focused on the sounds in the woods, as I was sitting amongst tree roots I watched a tiny spider walk across my legs and I felt the slow turn of the planet.
I know drawing can do this for me, I know that this, along with my love of paint, paper, colour, drawing, is why I am an artist. I know the creative and emotional freedom I feel when I’m in my studio or out drawing. I know the excitement I feel when in the presence of great paintings, they make everything else drop away. But somehow I forget…. I forget how important it is to me… I forget how it helps me… I forget how other people might feel like this too…
My plan for 2018 is simple…! Reinstate the ritual, get back into the creative groove, make work I love, visit galleries, be inspired, inspire others. I am not the best at routine but this blog is going to be my reminder to myself to focus, take myself seriously, to give myself the time I need to develop as an artist and to be proud of the work I have produced by the end of the year.
This is the drawing that reminds me how to be… Devils Hole, Haddiscoe, Norfolk.